Neko

by Matei73




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✎﹏﹏ Tuesday, August 11, 2026, 1:26 AM 0(comment)

refreshed
icon: hybridtrauma
music: Saksi Ang Langit - December Avenue
 
This is a midnight-ish post while waiting for my hair to dry and before my 7:30am shift later this morning. Recently, I've shared our interest on the playlist, "OPM 2025–2026 Late Night Playlist Mix." This single-handedly brought back me and my partner's interest in OPM. 

Amongst the artists on the playlist, one stood-out to us the most and that was, December Avenue. Their music had a particular charm and maybe because of us being old-time otakus, it somehow reminded us of 2000's anime music. The more we listened to their songs the more we appreciated their storytelling prowess. How their best ones set them apart in terms of depth through the song build-up, melody, lyrics and vocals. I'm scrambling my brain for the right words but really, they just hit hard. Their songs have feelings to them... or perhaps this is out of nostalgia and is just the type of music me and my partner resonate to.

Though most of their songs are sung in Tagalog, if you're one that gets attracted to music through its melody or how it sounds (most especially after learning about the lyrics) then it's nice to give December Avenue a shot. 

Also, just as when we got into their music, we found out too late of their Polaris Tour for Australia and New Zealand. We caught wind of the news exactly on the week of their performance and there was no space for me to wiggle and request for an early out on a Friday evening from work. So, we missed their concert... and the regret has been sinking in deeply week after week.  

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✎﹏﹏ Sunday, August 02, 2026, 12:06 PM 0(comment)

crappy
icon: fasionless
music: RYUSENKEI - Summer Ray
 

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✎﹏﹏ Saturday, July 25, 2026, 11:16 AM 0(comment)

tired
icon: cutterdolls
music: Where is Smiley? - Serani Poji

Oftentimes, I think I don't have much to say of essence. It's prolly more of blabbing and simply getting things aired off but I do like the idea of having a place that can store & hold them, and of where I can look back to, in the future. Some happenings and thoughts through out this week:

  • Neh and I drove to North Shore last Wednesday to pick up his new headphones which he won via an online auction. Since we were in the area, we also went to Gold Crust Pies Bakery Cafe, a place that's been in our wishlist for quite some time, and oh their pies definitely live up to the hype! The portion was good, filling was generous and flavourful plus they had a big selection of desserts. The place was chill/ with a relaxed ambiance, and warm lighting. We'll definitely go back! 
  • With the constant daily grind, it is as if at times I'm losing sight of my goals. This week in particular has been very tiring as we've been mostly down by 1 or 2 nurses on the floor. I come home tired, pass out on the couch after dinner, wake-up at midnight, prepare for bed, sleep; rinse and repeat. 
  • Been losing the ability to use words. Gotta pick up more on reading is what my brain has been telling me to do for weeks!!  
  • I've found my old Minitokyo profile and gained access to my old Plurk account! (⸝⸝0⸝⸝0⸝⸝) Nostalgia rush has been hitting me hard that day. 
  • It's funny how I have different allocated places to write down my thoughts. Daily raw venting (Plurk); everyday nonsense (Status Cafe); daily record of my day (Doevery.day); thoughts with essence/ art/ inspiration (Bluesky); everything in between (Blogspot).  
  • I'm very pleased with how everything is coming together in this blog. I love the colors, the small pixels, the minimalist style. I'm glad I came back and it seems like its my thing now doing a weekly entry. Though the thought of AI mining or how contents of our blogs are being used to train AI (particularly here in Blogger since its owned Goggle) has been a constant worry for me lately. Thoughts about migrating to a safer host is something I'm seriously considering. 

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✎﹏﹏ Saturday, July 18, 2026, 4:51 PM 0(comment)

discontent
icon: jaizea
music: Poppies in Morning

Hmm not much to say this week. I guess that's a good thing? ꉂ(´∀｀) at least nothing that's incredibly pressing that needed to be aired out or to have my thoughts organized about. We'll instead have some notes and all-over the place thread-of-thought today:

[1] I am so delighted joining cliques under Aquarel.nu by Aelyn and Cerine. I've always admired their designs and writing. They were also amongst the reasons why I've gone back to blogging and faced the challenge of coding once more. Their wonderful web designs reminded me so much of the good old early 2000's div styling.

Believe it or not, I used to do artworks via Adobe Photoshop. Tiny remnants of them survived in my earlier posts in this blog (which I was so pleasantly surprised to find out about!). Seeing them still makes my heart ache of nostalgia and fondness. Graphics designing used to be a big hobby and was (and still is!) a big source of my motivation generally speaking; getting through my studies back in high school and uni years just so I can start designing and use the computer for my leisure. 

Having to learn and design digital pieces back then was incredibly fulfilling! Now that I think about it, losing all my resources such as the textures, brushes, fonts, tutorials etc., including Photoshop CS3, the program I used, has been a big regret of mine. I moved out of PH to find better working opportunities and with it came a (lot of) cost, amongst them were my hobbies. I was only able to bring with me a small notebook laptop and it could not contain everything I held dear for graphics designing. In fact, the icons and mood themes I'm using today are a small part of the collection.  

Getting back into designing now that things have settled down did cross my mind though, a lot of things have changed. It's a pain getting Photoshop; resources that used to be readily available are no longer accessible; although I do agree that artists/ webmasters responsible for making them should get something (particularly in monetary form) in return apart from credit and fame. I'm also very sad about the state of celetial-star.net & aethereality.net. Those 2 websites used to be a huge source of inspiration. < Oops, I'm getting distracted > Anyway, I'm well aware that these are only my excuses. That if I want to get back into it badly enough, there are ways.

[2] Got my hair chopped last Wednesday, above the shoulder length. This is only the 3rd time I got it this short and it's due to it being such a hassle to dry during this winter season. I've been liking it so far and Neh has been loving it too.

[3] This week we've been enjoying "OPM 2025–2026 Late Night Playlist Mix"

[4] Contemplating whether to avail of a digital artbook by Natalia Zaitseva. She is an illustrator and a mum. Been enjoying her artworks and/ or comics, also her being a mum around my age resonates with me as I have a few friends who are also fellow toddler moms. Being in that stage of motherhood is both a joy and a struggle which is why I'm thinking of buying the artbook (to be at least of tiny help) plus I do genuinely enjoy her works! Please consider checking her out too! 
 
That's it for now! I've had enough distractions while writing this post and my patience to endure more of it has rant out (╥ ᴗ ╥) Next week again!

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✎﹏﹏ Friday, July 10, 2026, 2:50 PM 0(comment)

uncomfortable
icon: starsoft
music: HALO - NOMELON NOLEMON
 
Writing this entry feeling and probably looking disheveled in person too. Had a long day yesterday at work and it's been another late finish... Soon in the evening, I realized the probable reason why it hasn't been possible for me to blog that much in the last 6-7 years. 

Life without Neh I suppose, has mostly been running on adrenaline... Living in a foreign country mostly with just friends but technically on my own had its ups and downs. I've been mainly neglecting my health in terms of sleep and food consumption. After a long day at work, I'd wash up and head to the laptop (2016)/ computer (2020) either to play games and/ or chat with Neh. Could go the other way around too. Eating was often optional, this was more prominent back when I was still doing shift work. Coming home from a long 12-hour busy shift, I'd slump at the side of my bed, rest and just... stare. Won't have the energy to make a meal but in dire need of a slow-down and sleep. Often I'd get comments of how skinny or small I was back then.

Eating habits had a bit of an improvement as soon as I dropped shifting and only had a day job. I could finally meal prep and had more decent lunches. Not the healthiest, prolly had more carbs really but at least warm lunches this time, and not just the sad, bare minimum cheese sandwich. I didn't take my weight often but my clavicles were still evidently noticeable during those times.

Neh came into the picture late Dec. in 2022. Meals had massive improvements. Today, I look healthier and have "more in me" compared to those years passed. But! My sleeping habits has not changed. Years of working afternoon to night shifts plus the time invested despite the time difference in order to spend time with Neh (back then), has really etched into my system. Now though that he's with me, I no longer have a valid reason to stay up late and further abuse myself and this freedom.

In summary, this is all about me being disappointed at myself for failing horribly at fixing my sleeping habits and schedule; and explaining (or looking for an excuse) how life was in the past 6-7 years that made me unable to blog. In truth, it would have been possible if I tried but, I guess I chose to live life and only have forgotten.

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✎﹏﹏ Saturday, July 04, 2026, 10:53 AM 0(comment)

cold
icon: everylover
music: MERMAID - Meg Bonus Covered by 理芽
 
This morning while booting up the computer, I had this dejavu feeling of excitement I used to have when I was younger -  knowing I had the time and liberty to finally freely use it. Its was a feeling accompanied by a rewarding sense of accomplishment too perhaps from a schoolwork, an exam or even a semester - comparable to what is for me now to a week of work.

Strange to feel it again but it's not an unwelcome sensation. In fact, it brought back a lot of good thoughts and memories with it - studying hard for the week and then earning the right to play on the computer on the weekend for hours! 

I remember a teacher of ours at school once said that this (teenager years to early adulthood) time of our lives will be one of the best, and I agree! "Best" might come in different forms and this might not be the same for others, but the strong emotions, self-realization or discovery that emerges and develops at this stage felt so raw and new that it definitely left a mark.
・・・・・・・・・・  
Was supposed to write about whether migrating to bearblog is a good decision for long-term use but in the end, often times I don't have much to say and just want to ramble and have a record that I could look back to. I like the fact that here, I can customize pages to make it look like a website and not just a blog or wall of texts. So I think I'm staying - till something pushes me away. 
 
Any arguments to my decision is welcome particularly if it concerns AI and privacy issues 🙏🏻

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