Neko

CURRENT STATE: [seeing through the windowpane]
Sometimes I think about myself as a random type of person. One moment I'm angry about something then the next mood would be totally different depending on the environment or on my state of mentality. Then here comes those uncontrollable times where the intense emotions just showed up. I just wanted to be alone and reflect what the hell was I've doing all this time!


I know well that we all have and had experience these kind of sudden change of thoughts /emotions but I find mine quite odd.

I've been unexpectedly, talking these past few days to those people whom I considered as "unbearable beings." (i'm so mean T.T)
We had classes in different rooms so its natural for us to have random seats. Then here came an instance where I had my seat just beside these people. For them not to feel or think that I'm a sort of alien in the class, I tried talking & asking them the usual & common questions as a classmate. Say for instance like: "Have you studied for the big test in chemistry?" "Ah! me too! I'm so nervous about it. "Do you have an assignment for psychology?" things like that.

It came to the point where we (one of the unbearable beings) shared our childhoods memories, likes & loves.. etc. as if were that close / friendly to each other x_x Well I admit I had fun. I was thankful that 'he' was able to open up such personal things to a stranger like me with just 1 or 2 times we had a conversation EVER!

After that, we've been like saying "hi" & "goodbye". The usual things a 'usual friend' would do. But they are just no ordinary people! Their considered to be the 'exceptional people!' (more like of a social status at school) And as for me, I call them as the 'UNBEARABLEs'. Cause I can't stand their repulsive aura.

Their just probably acting to be nice and all.. manipulating people the way they want to. Which is pretty much effective when you fall for their traps. (CRAP!)

His smile is one of the factors that could make you believe. He has this good part in him where you could only see when he smiles. And I mean a TRUE SMILE. (oh how he smile sso good! T_T) I'm not so sure.. maybe its a fake one or a strategy to get people in their nets.

I can't help thinking that a part of our conversation were just big L I E S . Lies that would make me believe & become one of their dang victims! Which I absolutely wouldn't allow to happen! I'm just SICK being so nice all the time that I tend to forget the essential things.

Labels: lamentation, social problem, thoughts, unbearable