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music: HALO - NOMELON NOLEMON
Writing this entry feeling and probably looking disheveled in person too. Had a long day yesterday at work and it's been another late finish... Soon in the evening, I realized the probable reason why it hasn't been possible for me to blog that much in the last 6-7 years.
Life without Neh I suppose, has mostly been running on adrenaline... Living in a foreign country mostly with just friends but technically on my own had its ups and downs. I've been mainly neglecting my health in terms of sleep and food consumption. After a long day at work, I'd wash up and head to the laptop (2016)/ computer (2020) either to play games and/ or chat with Neh. Could go the other way around too. Eating was often optional, this was more prominent back when I was still doing shift work. Coming home from a long 12-hour busy shift, I'd slump at the side of my bed, rest and just... stare. Won't have the energy to make a meal but in dire need of a slow-down and sleep. Often I'd get comments of how skinny or small I was back then.
Eating habits had a bit of an improvement as soon as I dropped shifting and only had a day job. I could finally meal prep and had more decent lunches. Not the healthiest, prolly had more carbs really but at least warm lunches this time, and not just the sad, bare minimum cheese sandwich. I didn't take my weight often but my clavicles were still evidently noticeable during those times.
Neh came into the picture late Dec. in 2022. Meals had massive improvements. Today, I look healthier and have "more in me" compared to those years passed. But! My sleeping habits had not changed. Years of working afternoon to night shifts plus the time invested despite the time difference in order to spend time with Neh (back then), has really etched into my system. Now though that he's with me, I no longer have a valid reason to stay up late and further abuse myself and this freedom.
Life without Neh I suppose, has mostly been running on adrenaline... Living in a foreign country mostly with just friends but technically on my own had its ups and downs. I've been mainly neglecting my health in terms of sleep and food consumption. After a long day at work, I'd wash up and head to the laptop (2016)/ computer (2020) either to play games and/ or chat with Neh. Could go the other way around too. Eating was often optional, this was more prominent back when I was still doing shift work. Coming home from a long 12-hour busy shift, I'd slump at the side of my bed, rest and just... stare. Won't have the energy to make a meal but in dire need of a slow-down and sleep. Often I'd get comments of how skinny or small I was back then.
Eating habits had a bit of an improvement as soon as I dropped shifting and only had a day job. I could finally meal prep and had more decent lunches. Not the healthiest, prolly had more carbs really but at least warm lunches this time, and not just the sad, bare minimum cheese sandwich. I didn't take my weight often but my clavicles were still evidently noticeable during those times.
Neh came into the picture late Dec. in 2022. Meals had massive improvements. Today, I look healthier and have "more in me" compared to those years passed. But! My sleeping habits had not changed. Years of working afternoon to night shifts plus the time invested despite the time difference in order to spend time with Neh (back then), has really etched into my system. Now though that he's with me, I no longer have a valid reason to stay up late and further abuse myself and this freedom.
In summary, this is all about me being disappointed at myself for failing horribly at fixing my sleeping habits and schedule; and explaining (or looking for an excuse) how life was in the past 6-7 years that made me unable to blog. In truth, it would have been possible if I tried but, I guess I chose to live life and only have forgotten.
Friday, July 10, 2026, 
♛ 
A lot has changed since I've started this space but my love for reading blogs and admiring web designs remained the same. I am still though the quiet person who loves to stay within the comforts of her own home. Procrastinating is my best friend as much as I hate it though I try to be a sensible adult for the most part! My life's pretty simple and mundane but I like it that way. My dream is to simply have enough for my basic needs and wants, as well as the occasional indulgence in life's pleasures. 
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